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Remember when they took you to see Santa at the mall?
They'd take your picture in his lap, although you cried and bawled
Something strange about that guy, it made your skin just crawl
Turns out you were right about the old man after all
'Cause… Santa is a psycho, you knew it all the time
You'd seen him on a wanted poster for some heinous crime
Mom would reassure you, but that just made things worse
When you noticed that his sleigh had been converted to a hearse
Why does he live all the way up there at the North Pole?
He's running from the law for violating his parole
Voices in his head say, "On Xmas, you must share"
So perhaps you'll get a finger bone or a lock of hair
Yes, Santa is a psycho, you knew it all along
That swastika tattoo tipped you off something was wrong
Mom never got close enough to smell his whiskey breath
Or notice that his gloves and boots were made from human flesh
He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake
So don't go out alone on Christmas Eve, for God's sake
Santa is a psycho, his train has left the station
Lock up all the guns, 'cause he's off his medication
Forget about the kiddie car or that electric train, dear
But here's a book about him called Silence of the Reindeer
He got past the razor wire at the state hospital
You'd think with all those guards that would not be possible
They found them in a ghastly scene all with a lifeless stare
Their bodies were all hung by the chimney with care
'Cause Santa is a psycho, just as you suspected
But here's what you can do to keep your family protected,
Have the cops round up all the Santas in your town
And just to be safe, all the scoutmasters and clowns
Yes, just to be safe, all the scoutmasters and clowns
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