[Star Trek theme music begins]
Space - The Final Frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship "Boobyprize". Its five year mission - to sell T-shirts, toy phasers, plastic communicators, and anything else we can think of. To seek out new life in old plots and complications. To boldly go where Everyone has gone before
Stardrek!
JERK: Captain's log, Stardate 6935.2. We are in orbit around the planet Schwartz
SNOTT: Engineering to Captain Jerk! Engineering to Captain Jerk!!
JERK: Jerk here, what is it Snotty?
SNOTT: Captain, the warp drive mechanisms are generating excess antimatter. The pods are overloadin' now, if it continues at this rate, I canna be responsible for the safety of the ship!
JERK: Don't have a spaz, Snotty
SNOTT: Ach, but the whole ship's gonna blow itself to pieces, Jim!
JERK: I want answers, Mister!
SNOTT: Well, I tried shovin' a wiener in the warp drive, but it dinna. Do a bit of good. By the by, would ya have a wee bit of mustard up on the bridge?
JERK: Mr. Schlock?
SCHLOCK: No mustard, Captain
JERK: Analysis, Schlock?
SCHLOCK: It would appear that Lieutenant Snott is about to eat a wiener without mustard
JERK: As always, your logic is impeccable, Mr. Schlock. However, I was referring to the emergency in the ship's warp drive
SCHLOCK: I would say that the program is at too early a stage to permit solving any serious difficulties, Jim
JERK: Recommendation?
SCHLOCK: Suggest you wait for further plot complication before undertaking corrective measures
JERK: Logical, Mr. Schlock. Perfectly logical. Dr. McCoy?
McCOY: I'm a doctor, not a scriptwriter!
COMPUTER: Warning! This is a plot complication! Warning! This is a plot complication! Warning! This is a plot complication!
SCHLOCK: Plot complication showing up on ship's sensors now, Captain. I am switching to visual…
JERK: What is it, Mr. Schlock?
SCHLOCK: Computer data coming in now, Captain. It's just what we need - a colossal negative space wedgie of great power coming right at us at warp speed
JERK: Uh, Mr. Lulu, commence evasive action!
LULU: Yesss, Captain Jerrrrrk
SCHLOCK: Evasive action ineffective, Captain. The wedgie is turning with us and closing rapidly. Estimated time of impact approximately 16.9 seconds. 15…
JERK: Bridge to Engineering!
SCHLOCK: 14… 13…
SNOTT: Snott here, Captain
SCHLOCK: 12… 11…
JERK: What's not there, Snotty?
SCHLOCK: 10… 9…
SNOTT: I said, Snott here, Captain!
SCHLOCK: 8… 7…
JERK: Snotty, give me full power! Get us out of here fast!
SCHLOCK: 6… 5…
SNOTT: Ach, I canna do it. The toilets have backed up into the warp drive! It will take time to make repairs!
SCHLOCK: 4… 3…
JERK: Time? Mr. Schlock?
SCHLOCK: 2… 1… Wipeout!
*Crash* *Boom* *Splat*
SCHLOCK: Readings are off the scale, Captain! I have not encountered this phenomenon before
JERK: Damage report! Lieutenant Manura?
MANURA: I dunno, but I say we took a shellackin' out here!
SCHLOCK: Fascinating
JERK: What is it, Mr. Schlock?
SCHLOCK: The force seems to have passed though us, and entered the surface of the planet Shwartz. Yet, tricorder readings fail to indicate any such energy from the planet
JERK: Opinion, Mr. Schlock?
SCHLOCK: Insufficient data, Captain
JERK: Into the elevator, Mr. Schlock! Let's beam down to the planet's surface so I can find an alien to fall in love with before the program's over!
SCHLOCK: You usually do
JERK: Ain't I somethin'! Uh, Mr. Lulu, you've got the conn
LULU: Thaaaank yeew, Captain Jerkkkkkk!
[PFFFT! The door opens…]
JERK: Elevator, transporter room
ELEVATOR: I'm fine, how are you?
JERK: Elevator, I Ssaid transporter room!
ELEVATOR: I'm fine, how are you?
JERK: Oh, forget it! Elevator to Engineering! Beam us down from here, Snotty!
SNOTT: Aye aye, Captain! You are locked on coordinates now
JERK: Energize, Mr. Snott
[Standard transporter noises, fade to city traffic noises in background]
SCHLOCK: Remarkable! There is no record of any such civilization as this on the planet Schwartz
JERK: Look, Schlock! Here comes a car… feast your Vulcan squinties on that driver!
[Car screeches to a stop]
SCHLOCK: Far out, Captain Jerk
GIRL: Want a lift, sailor?
JERK: As a matter of fact, I do. I'll say 'goodbye' here, Mr. Schlock
Now you will have what you always wanted - command of the Boobyprize!
SCHLOCK: And you will have what you always wanted…
JERK: What's that, Mr. Schlock?
SCHLOCK: A bleached blond in red convertible on planet Shwartz
JERK: Ain't I somethin'! Well, say 'bye-bye' to Starfleet command for me, and I will see you on 'Hollywood Squares'!
SCHLOCK: Bye-bye, Jim
[Sound of car driving off]
SCHLOCK: I thought he would never go
[Sound of communicator opening]
SCHLOCK: Schlock to Boobyprize!
SNOTT: Snott here, Mr. Schlock
SCHLOCK: What's not there, Lieutenant Snott?
SNOTT: I said, Snott here, Mister Schlock!
SCHLOCK: That's Captain Schlock
SNOTT: Aye?
SCHLOCK: Make it One to beam up!
[Music surge]
|
![[%]](/images/curseur-lecture.jpg "%")
![[Quoi de neuf ?]](/images/titre-discussion.png){kind=small}
Accueil | Nos disques | Forum | Evénements | Goodies | Infos | Contact | Partenaires et liens
Robert George Pickett (Bobby "Boris" Pickett ) est né le 11 février 1938 à Somerville (Massachusetts) et est décédé le 25 avril 2007 à Los Angeles (California). C'est un acteur, comédien et auteur-interprète américain. Il est connu pour être le coauteur et l'interprète de la chanson "Monster-Mash" adaptée en français par Les Monstres (Dennis Pantis) sous l'intitulé "Le monstre Mash".
Avec son compère Peter Ferrara, il est aussi l'interprète de "King Kong".
Il faut être identifié pour ajouter un commentaire !