Farming on the northern Plains, milking cows, growing grains,
Keeping all the silos full, being agricultural.
Pray for rain, load the truck, listen to the chickens cluck,
Work all day, sleep all night, work the next day.
(Instrumental break)
Wife went to the store, I go out to do the chores;
Up on the tractor 'cause I gotta go plow.
Field work's not done, but the tractor won't run.
Pop the clutch, turn the key, nothing seems to work for me!
We couldn't start the tractor, it's the carburetor or the alternator.
We couldn't start the tractor, she is in position, but there's no ignition.
Turn the key 'round and 'round, starter doesn't make a sound.
Kick the tire, scratch my head, get the tools out from the shed.
Maybe it's electrical, maybe it's mechanical,
Maybe I can plow with the family car…
Change the filter, change the oil, radiator starts to boil;
Fill it up with antifreeze, spilling some upon my knees.
Check the motor every night, something isn't fitting right;
Keeps on leaking every day – puddles in the driveway!
We couldn't start the tractor, Oh, I tried to choke it, but I think I broke it.
We couldn't start the tractor, radiator's hissing and the engine's missing.
New points, new plugs, try to get out all the bugs;
Fan belt, battery, this tractor'll be the death of me!
Will it quit? Will it go? Will it start tomorrow?
Will insurance pay if I set it on fire?
Ay-ay-ay!
John Deere, JI Case, Allis-Chalmers in my face,
Oliver won't run – try a Massey-Ferguson;
Sell the car, sell the bull, buy an International:
Seems whichever one I drive, I can't keep the thing alive!
We couldn't start the tractor, I am in a panic, need a good mechanic.
We couldn't start the tractor, all the fuel she's pumping on the ground is dumping.
Finally got the thing to run, thought that my repairs were done.
Better be! I had to make seven trips to town.
Take it out through the gate, still won't steer straight,
Radio's dead, and the fan's broke down.
GPS satellite isn't working quite right.
I don't know what to do: it says I'm farming in Peru!
We couldn't start the tractor, oh, the power take-off is about to break off.
We couldn't start the tractor, it makes me homicidal when it just won't idle.
In the field, running fine, coming to the section line,
Try to stop; now the tractor won't shut down.
Can't get it out of gear, say a prayer, shed a tear.
Starter key breaks in two – I don't know what to do!
Steering gear starts to burn – stupid tractor won't turn!
Tractor driver's pretty dense, take out 40 feet of fence.
In a rut gets stuck, crash into the pickup truck.
Radio, warn the spouse, think I'm heading for the house!
We couldn't stop the tractor, everybody duck! Because the clutch is stuck.
We couldn't stop the tractor, until I'm out of gas, I'll just go on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on…
We couldn't stop the tractor, I am getting thinner, 'cause I'm missing dinner.
We couldn't stop the tractor, I can't make a profit, if I can't get off it.
We couldn't stop the tractor, the way this thing is driving, hope I'll be surviving.
We couldn't stop the tractor…
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